A Chance To Change
by Jaymi
Summary: Glory and Dawn are dead. How will Buffy live without any family? *Written at the end of Season Five* Reposted after more chapers were written.
1. Prologue

A Chance to Change: Part 1

**A Chance to Change...**

**Part 1: Prologue**

**A voice whispered in my ear, **_**Its not supposed to happen like this... **_

**I turned my head to search of the person who spoke, who dared to speak after this. I was met only by the tear streaked and stony faces of my friends. I turned back to the space I was looking at, vacant brown eyes stared up at me. Shakily I kneeled by my sister's side, broken glass dug into my knee, I was almost glad of the pain it brought, it reminded me to feel. I reached out my hand and brushed a drop of rain from her still flushed cheek. Her skin still felt warm, hard to believe that she wasn't just asleep. Memories rushed back to me, waking her up in the morning, shaking her shoulder and the murmured reply's to my insisted words for her to get up. What I would give for one more word to pass her now-cold lips, for her to look at me again with that evaluating stare she had. I knew it was stupid for me to think those things, but that didn't stop me. A hand thumped down on my shoulder and I looked around, startled, the hand was blood stained and cut, it belonged to Giles. I looked up at him, not even managing to pull together the energy to glare at him. He got the message though and stepped back after giving my shoulder a quick squeeze. I turned my attention back to my sister, the rain was becoming quicker, I felt that every drop that touched her was mocking me. Laughing at me by spotting her skin with colour. Finally I let out a trembling sob, my hand went back to her cheek, cupping it gently. I ran my thumb across her ear and into her long hazel brown hair, it at least was still the same. I sobbed again, tears still did not seem to be able to make their way to my eyes, yet my mouth was filling with saliva. I slipped my hand to the back of her neck and pulled her head towards me, I cradled her like she was a baby, like I had done when she had just been brought home from the hospital, proud parents looking on.   
Whimpering I murmured, . The heavens answered my call by sending the rain down in heavier torrents, soaking Dawn's hair and the dress that Glory had forced her to wear, the tares in it becoming more prominent, showing long cuts on her bluing skin. I closed my eyes, the tears now streaking down my cheeks now mingling with the rain on Dawn's face. I pushed the hair that was now clinging to my forehead away and clench my eyes tighter. Only wishing, futile at it was, that there was something I could do to change everything...**

**You like the look of this fic? Well, read on... **[][1]**[Pag**

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**Disclamer: All the charaters that you recognise belong to the wonderful people that make Buffy, all the others are mine.**[][1]**e2]**[][2]**[Page3]**[][3]**[Page4]**

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	2. Goodbye Slayer

A Chance to Change.

A Chance to Change...

Part2: Goodbye Slayer

**Buffy...Are you sure this is what you want?.   
I glared at Giles, the numbness of my features now long gone after Dawn's funeral. We had buried her next to my mom and everyone had cried, they were supposed to weren't they, everyone cries at funerals. I felt that even if they had not known the person being buried so well, they would still have cried, out of common decency. I tried not to blame them for it, but I did. They were my friends and they couldn't even shed real tears over the death of my sister. **

** I sighed, This is what I want, I don't know how many times I have to tell you before you understand that putting a hand up to my head I dragged my fingers through my hair, the stress must have been showing as I pulled a few blonde strands of hair away in my hand. I frowned and dropped the hair before looking back up at Giles to find him studying me. Slowly, as if he was measuring his words when he spoke he opened his mouth,   
Whatever you want Buffy, we will support you, he gestured behind him to where the rest of the gang were sitting around solemnly, pretending to read, We will all support you...Dawn...Dawn was a wonderful person...and I...   
DAWN was my sister! And none of you seem to see that she was the only reason for me to live, at all I couldn't help but jump in. He was talking about my sister as if she was gone, and I couldn't take that. I was still in denial. I half still expected Dawn to walk around the corner smiling again and talking about boys that she was too embarrassed to tell me the names of. I looked around at everyone but they all looking at me, nervously. I picked up my coat from the nearby chair and turned my back on them, storming towards the magic shop door. I slammed the door behind me, the little bell still jangling in my ear as I walked down the quiet Sunnydale street. I pulled my coat on as I walked, getting a few strange looks from passers by for wearing a coat in this heat. I didn't care. Since Dawn's death I had always felt cold.   
Under my breath I murmured wistfully, And so the cycle stops, goodbye slayer... **

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	3. Death Of A Love

A Chance to Change

A Chance to Change

Part3:Death of a love

**I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried to get the images of Dawn's body from my mind I couldn't. Pacing my room I stared out of my window, something was telling me it was slaying time, but I didn't listen to it. The street outside was dimly lit by a couple of street lamps but I could see a few people out for a night time walk, it was that sort of weather. How much did I wish that I could be one of those people, with all they had to worry about being what they should wear tomorrow. Or what they should buy with their bonus check, or what they should buy there mother for a birthday present...   
I sighed and made to move away from the window again, knowing it was no use me dwindling on these thoughts. A movement in the bushes caught my eye though, frowning I moved closer too the window so that my warm breath was steaming patches of the glass up. It was a vampire, I could tell by the way he moved, and the way he looked, but mostly because of the slayer instinct that although I had decided to disown, I still had. For a second I was about to grab a stake and go out there and get him, before a thought hit me. Well, actually many thoughts. **_**I'm not a slayer anymore was one of them but the main one, that she had not told Giles about was, They have a right to live too, in whatever depraved way they can, its only the old predator vs prey issue. And as far as I am concerned they are just trying to survive, and I don't care anymore.**_** I watched as the vampire followed one particular couple down the street, keeping pace with them. As I watched the vampire grabbed the woman by the back of her neck and quickly swung her around, digging his fangs into her exposed throat. She barely had enough time to scream before she went limp. The man stared at the vampire in disbelief, his mouth trapped open in a silent scream. Looking at his face brought some small spark of compassion into my mind, his life would never be the same again, if he lived at all that was, as the vampire had now dropped the woman's body and was staring at the man hungrily. Muttering a noise of annoyance I picked up a stake from my dresser and moved towards my door. I may have quit slaying but I wasn't stupid enough to get rid of all my weapons while I was still living on a hell mouth.   
stroked the stake with my thumb as I moved down the stares, taking them two at a time. It was a black stake, my favourite of all the stakes I owned, it was so highly sanded it looked like black glass, but it was razor sharp. Not bothering to sneak up on the vampire I wrenched open my front door and charged out into the street. The vampire turned around at the sound of the door slamming and grinned. That supprised me, he took his attention of the man, who after a last glance at his girlfriend ran away as fast as he could.   
I was told the slayer had packed it in... The vampire snarled, his eyes fixed on the stake that I hadn't bothered to conceal. I realised that this was why he had been hunting so near my house, the word that I had retired had spread among the vampires.   
I smiled coldly, Thrusting the stake into his heart, I'm not.... He burst into dust that was quickly caught by the midnight breeze. I felt the old thrill of satisfaction start to run through my body, only stopping when I remembered that I had done what I had said I would not. The guilt at breaking the promise to myself soon left though as I polished off the stake on my T-shirt. I decided, that as this was a habit that you couldn't just break like that, that I would go out slaying, one more time. I knew that I had not quit slaying, just quit being the slayer. **

**I walked without noticing it to one of the popular haunts for vampires, the alleyway behind a teen rock club. I crouched behind a big yellow dustbin and waited. The night sky was unusually clear, after the rain of the past few days. The night still smelt bad though, it smelt dingy and dark, like all the times without Dawn smelt.   
I was distracted from my inner monologue by the sound of footsteps. It was unmistakably a vampire by the lightness of its movement, moving like a giant cat. I tensed myself in readiness, waiting to pounce out from behind the dustbin. The footsteps moved closer until the vampire was standing right beside the dustbin I was behind. Quickly as possible, slayer instincts kicking in I sprang forward, stabbing forward with the stake that was clutched in my hand. But somehow, perhaps from being out of practice, or from some deep psychological warning, I stumbled and the stake only pushed its self into the vampires thigh. Still that was enough to cause the vampire to fall, yelling out in a voice that was familiar to me.   
Bloody hell... Spike exclaimed staring from the stake in his leg to me, his eyes angry, What did you do that for...?. I could only stare at him, sinking into a kneeling position beside his leather clad body.   
I managed to say finally, my voice breaking with every word, Its...poisoned...the stake is poisoned... My hands travelled to were the stake was embedded in his leg and I wrenched it out, blood covered it and my hands.   
Said Spike, only the slightest amount of fear on his face, We go to Giles and... I shook my head.   
You can't reverse it, in a few minutes you will...you'll be.... I couldn't bring myself to say the word but Spike got what I meant. One tear fell from my eyes, then another, soon my face was caked in tears.   
Spike said, Don't do that...Its only me, Spike, William the Bloody...You can't...you can't start getting upset about killing me... His voice was breaking as much as mine, You've wanted to do I for so long...threatened to do it..And if anyone was to stake me, I'm glad it was...glad it was you His breathing was becoming laboured, and I could tell the poison was taking affect. He reached up and grabbed my hand tightly in his, Don't blame yourself...Buffy, I love you he closed his eyes then.   
I let out a rattling sob and knew, with a sudden clarity, that there was something I had to say to him, something I now felt, more than ever. It wouldn't help him at all, but maybe, just maybe he would be happy for a few seconds before...before...   
I took a deep breath, Spike, I... He opened his eyes and smiled at me serenely before his body exploded into dust. It was with such force that even his clothes crumbled away, gasping I stared at the spot where he had been lying. Already the dust had blown away, save for the fragments stuck on my blood caked hands. Spikes blood, Spikes being. I turned my head, to search for someone to help, but no-one was there, and no-one could help me. A hard gust of wind whipped around the alleyway, pushing my hair over my eyes. Without thinking I pushed it back again, transferring some of the blood into my hair and onto my face. I whimpered and flopped back onto the ground.   
Suddenly the noises that I had been missing smashed back into my ears. The cars driving by and splashing in the puddles, the faint sound of rock music escaping from the club, and the wind howling through the trees. I shivered in spite of myself and looked around. If I was writing a book about this moment, I would have said **_**I looked around, my eyes soulless and stunned, realising I had killed the only person who truly cared for me. He was a vampire without a soul some said, but I know he had a hell of a lot more than that'**_**. But I wasn't writing a book and never would, not about this. Despair gripped my and I could do nothing more but sit, watching the faint light of the cars as they went past, and waiting for morning. **

Authors note: *cries* I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry...Spiiiiiike....

Disclamer: You know the drill, anyone you know isn't mine, anyone you don't is.


	4. Dancing

a

**A Chance To Change...**

**Part 4: Dancing**

**I dropped my coat, I don't know where. Wasn't paying attention, of course I wasn't. I'd just killed one of my best' friends. Calling him that made it worse as only a few times I had thought of him as a friend.   
I moved to my bed and slipped beneath the covers, trying to look for some small comfort. No such luck, the blankets were cold and heavy. They rubbed against my skin and hurt, I had spent hours in the shower, scrubbing at my skin, trying to get the feeling of disgust away from me. Every time I paused I would look at my hands and see the blood there again. Finally I stopped, sitting on the thick plastic shower base, soap around near my feet and cold water hitting my soaked head. I had cried again then, it seemed as if I was getting used to being weak, crying. I turned off the shower a few moments later and stepped out, skin rubbed raw and red.   
I don't believe in love of course, not any more. I guess I haven't for a while, just never missed it. No gaping wound, like people say, nothing like that. Just a kind of...loss of hope. A void in your stomach, not like a hunger that needs to be filled, just like nothing. **

**I looked up the ceiling, there was a little crack in the plaster just above my head, a little black line along that perfect ceiling. I started to drift off, curling up under the covers, my eyelids began to droop...   
I opened my eyes, twilight poking its way through my curtains and hitting my face, I frowned and started to close my eye again before I saw someone sitting on the end of my bed. I rubbed my eyes slowly and sat up, clutching the blankets to my front I stared at...at Dawn.   
She is sitting on the end of my bed, hair falling around her face and staring away into the distance. The moonlight shining on her expressionless face, making her look pail and sickly.   
I can't think, I can't breath, I ask, my voice croaking.   
She can't hear you... Said a voice near the window. I looked over sharply and out of the shadows stepped a girl, of about twenty. She had shoulder length dark brown hair, that had so often been a little greasy, but now just looked glossy. She wore black leather trousers that clung to her hips and knee high black snake skin boots that ended with a three inch heel. Above that she was wearing a dark purple leather corset, strung at the front with black lace threads. A silver necklace hung from her neck, a ring hung from the thin chain. Another ring, black this time was worn on her index finger. Her eyes were as dark and haunting as ever, mascara and eye pencil accenting her dark iris's. She looked at me through those eyes now.   
I shrieked.   
She smiled seductively, deep red lips curving just slightly and a hand travelling down to her hip as she struck a pose, That's me...   
What are you doing here!? I demanded, And what is this? I gestured to the still Dawn, Some kind of sick joke?   
Calm down she said in a silky voice. She began to walk over to my bed, hips swaying with every footfall. I could only watch in horror as she sat down next to Dawn and stroked her hair, long painted black finger nails twisting around the ends before returning to the top of her head again. She murmured, Pretty little thing.... Dawn still did not seem to notice and Faith sighed, turning to look at me. Her gaze analysing and her hand stilled on Dawns head.   
I demanded again, my voice wavering a little in the middle, eyes fixed on that hand. She smiled again,   
Calm down...Its just an illusion, both of us are actually... She broke off and looked a little sad. I remembered what I had heard about Faith after she had left Sunnydale and shuddered. Guessing what I was thinking she nodded and went back to looking at Dawn. After a few moments of silence I opened my mouth, Why? What are you doing here?.   
Faith stood up slowly and walked over to me, bending down to whisper in my ear, Its not supposed to happen like this...   
Suddenly the room swum, for a second I was sitting there again, cradling Dawn in my arms and crying. The voice in my head was the same one as I had heard that night.   
The room changed back again and I looked up at Faith questioningly. She nodded,   
That was me...And what I said was right...It wasn't supposed to happen like that...   
Then how was... I began to ask before Faith shaking her head stopped me.   
I can't tell you that...What I can do though..is give you a second chance, if you are willing to take it...?   
A second chance? What do you mean? I asked, confused.   
Faith put a hand into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out an old piece of paper, ragged around the edges. She slowly unfolded it and turned it so that I could just make out that there was writing on it.   
This is a spell...to push the person who casts it, back in time. Its not very reliable, but its a chance. If you want to get back badly enough, then you will   
I stared at her, I...I could change things...?   
Faith nodded, her hair shivering as she did so,   
Yes...but don't fail this time...because if you do again...there will be no me here to help you...Will you do it? She asked quietly.   
Without thinking about it I grabbed for the paper,   
Yes...of course...anything to save Dawn.... Faith smiled lightly and handed over the spell,   
You're a good sister... Her face became serious again, You can't tell anyone about this.. As I started to argue she shook her head, No, not even Willow, you must do all of this by yourself. I sighed and nodded and again she smiled, One more thing..   
  
Good luck...Now...Sleep She laid her palm on my forehead, it felt warm and comforting, like a mothers touch, I looked up at her and she smiled as the room started to fade away. **

**Faith straightened up and took Dawn gently by the arm, Come on...Its up to her now. Dawn nodded, pearly tears running down her cheeks. Hey now Faith said, Don't do that...Buffy will manage it...She's doing this for you now... Dawn nodded and stood up, hearing the bed creek a little as she did so and looking toward Buffy worriedly. Don't worry said Faith, She's sleeping still...She need her strength for tomorrow...Come on...Lets go she tugged on Dawn arm again. Taking one last look at Buffy's peaceful sleeping form Dawn nodded and took one step forward, disappearing. Faith turned and stood watching Buffy sleep for a while, making sure that no bad dreams haunted her. She ran a hand through her own hair sadly, before nodding at her own good work and turning to take one step towards the same place Dawn had disappeared from. **

**The flash made Buffy stir a little, turn over, and then go back to sleep, oblivious. **

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**Authors note: Okay, so I was crying to the last song on the Buffy album and just had to write more of this fic, even if I'm the only one who reads it. **


	5. The Spell

A Chance To Change.

A Chance To Change...

Part 5: The Spell

**Giles picked up his phone and dialled Willow's number, he waited for a few seconds, glancing around the musty room as he did so. He would normally have used the phone in his flat, but he couldn't get to that right now without being seen. A voice at the other end of the line made him stop looking around, and instead fix on a oil spot on the floor, thinking vaguely I should clean up in here..'   
  
Oh, hello Willow its me, Giles...Listen, did you send Buffy to get anything from the shop?   
..No? Why?   
Giles glanced through the crack in the door at Buffy rummaging through a box, She has broken in here and is now...stealing potions, crystals and herbs...You have no idea what is going on?   
No, no...Look Giles, are you sure thats Buffy I mean...   
Quite sure, she seems to know where everything is and she also seem to be talking about me under her breath Giles paused and glanced through the crack in the door again to see Buffy filling an empty box with the things she had collected, Right, I think she's nearly finished now...   
You can see her right now?   
  
Where are you? The only room downstairs with a phone is... Giles could imagine Willow grinning, Erm...kinda dusty in there isn't it...   
Yes...Now if you don't think...   
Right, Buffy...Well...maybe she just wants to do a spell...Giles, you know she's going through a hard time at the moment   
Yes, I know... Giles sighed, Well...I guess I'll talk to her tomorrow about it...Get some sleep Willow   
Yes sir, although me and Tara were going to...Sleep yes...thats good...You too Giles   
Uh huh...Goodnight   
Giles put the phone down, at the same time as it clicked down he heard the door to the shop slam shut, the little bell jingling erratically. He frowned as this did not seem quite right for someone who was trying to steal things. Pushing the door to the little room open he looked around at the mess Buffy had left, also not right for someone who was trying to look inconspicuous. He walked over to the counter and started sorting things into boxes, yawning he realised this was going to be a long night. **

**I walked quickly back to my house, eager to get the spell done and my torture ended. I held the light box I was carrying in one hand, the contents rattled around in it noisily. For once I was glad that Giles had made us put all of those name tags on things. It had made my trip much shorter that it had to be. No one had seen me, apart from a few drunks in the street, but it didn't really matter anyway because after the spell everything would be different. I had already worked out what I was going to do, I would go back to just after Dawn had been captured by Glory, that way I could kill her and save Dawn at the same time. **

**I cleared my floor totally, pushing books and magazines under my bed and chairs outside my door. I had put the box on my bed so I moved over to that next, pulling things out and setting them to the side before folding the box up and shoving that too under my bed. I then walked to the window and shut the blinds, causing my room to fall into relative blackness. I then moved back to the bed and picked up the small alter she had taken. It was dark brown and made of wood, with small holes to hold incense sticks and a slot to Hold a picture of your favourite deity'. Smiling grimly she set it up on her dresser, slotting two sandalwood incense sticks into the holes on either side and lighting, I left them to burn for a second as I checked on a little toy compass which way north was. Surprisingly enough it was the same direction that I had set my alter up in. Smiling again and went over to the incense sticks and blew on them gently until the light changed from flames to just a soft glowing on the end of each stick, gentle grey smoke floating up from each, carrying the faint smell of sandalwood. Next I took all the things I needed up from my bed and placed them in what was to be the middle of the circle, before picking up a long stick (wand) and standing. I closed my eyes for a second, remembering the words I had hastily learnt before pointing the wand towards the alter and concentrating hard. I tightened the muscles in my arm and began to visualise a glowing ball of purplish-blue flame within me, pulsing with energy. Then I began to draw the energy out, little by little forcing it down my arm, hand, then along the wand. When it had reached the tip of the wand I began to walk around my circle, focusing hard of the end of the wand as I walked. As I walked I imagined a white firey line left behind me, trying to make the circle as geometrically perfect as possible. The second time around the circle I begin to recite out loud the words I had learnt,   
I cast this circle to protect me from all negative and positive energies and forces on any level that may come to do me harm. I paused and drew a deep breath before continuing, I draw into this circle only the energies and forces that are right for me and the most correct for my work. Now I began to walk the circle a third time as I neared the end saying, I create sacred space. So mote be it Next I moved to the centre of the circle and pointed in each direction, North, South, East and West, drawing a pentagram in the air at each with the wand. I pulled a few candles out of plastic wrapping and set them around the circle, lighting them in turn. White for East, Purple for South, Sliver for West and Black for north. After lighting the final candle I sat in the centre of the circle again and began filling a small putter bole full of water. The fumes from the scented candles and the smell of sandalwood making me a little drowsy. After the bowl was filled with water I dropped five small amethyst stones into it, followed by three rose quartz stones. Watching them splash and sink to the bottom of the bowl slowly before taking a pipette and letting two drops of dragons blood fall into the water (not real dragons blood of course, the synthetic kind). I then took up another putter bowl and started tearing up herbs and dropping them into it. Rosemary, Trefoil, Vervain, Juniper, Mugwort, Basil, Horehound, St John's Wort and Mandrake all went into the bowl before I started grinding them up with the back of a wooden spoon. I then tipped the herbs into the bowl, watching them float around on top of the water, mingling with the oil. Then sat back, crossing my legs and clearing my dry throat. Closing my eyes I began...   
I ask in the name of Cerridwen that I, Buffy Anne Summers, be granted the chance to change what should not have been. I ask that this be correct and for the good of all people. So mote be it. In no way will this spell reverse, or place upon me any curse. I paused to breath in deeply, the scent of sandalwood assailing my nostrils again before I continued.   
In this night and at this hour, I call upon the Ancient power. O Goddess bride and Consort Bright, I ask thee now to bring your light.   
I have a need that must be met. I ask thee Cerridwen that I obtain the perfect chance to change the past, to bring back what should not be dead   
I ask the Universe to lend the power of all correct astrological correspondences so they may enter this circle now to obtain my desire The wind rattled around the house, smashing branches against her window loudly, swallowing I continued.   
Therefore, I specifically draw towards myself the chance to change what was, and should not have been without affecting the free will of all and harming none.   
I now proclaim this spell is done. The chance to change what was, and should not have been is mine! In no way will this spell reverse, or place upon me any curse! As I will, so mote it be!.   
I sighed deeply for a second before standing up, feeling drained. Taking up the wand again, I walked the circle one last time. Speaking quietly, I send this circle into the cosmos to do my bidding. The circle is undone but not broken.   
Leaving the wand on the side by the alter, near the smouldering incense sticks. I then moved around the circle, blowing out each candle before picking up the bowl full of water and herbs, setting it down also by the alter. Slowly I pulled my trousers and T-shirt off, crawling into bed wearing only my underwear. The air in my room was think with incense. I yawned gently and began to drift off into a dreamless sleep. **

**The incense sticks were almost burnt out before a soft, pink thumb and index finger snubbed them both out. Faith smiled gently as she looked at the sleeping Buffy, watching her body move gently with each breath. Reluctantly she moved over to the bed, reaching out to shake Buffy's shoulder, murmuring to herself as she does so, I sure hope you have a good plan Buffy... **


	6. Sacrifice

A Chance To Change.

A Chance To Change...

Part 6: Sacrifice

**I opened my eyes. Colours swam around my vision, they might have been scenes from my life, people I had known, my friends, growing up, my mum. Then, in an instant, a flash. I was standing somewhere familiar. The floor was metal, I should have been feeling how hard it was, or heard the clanking as I worked my way forwards, towards I don't know what. But it didn't, I felt as if I was floating along, though my legs were still moving. It was then that I felt the slight pressure on my shoulder, turning my head I jumped in supprise to see Faith walking beside me, with her hand on my shoulder. Delicate fingers squeeze my shoulder slighty but she stays facing ahead, concentrating on where she is guiding me. Taking her silence as a sign I should be also I turn to look where she was taking me. Slowly shapes shift into view, hazy at first before suddenly popping into clarity. In front of me was... was me. I had my back to myself and was talking to,   
I cried out.   
But my voice made no impact. Turning to look at Faith I said,   
What's happened? I shouldn't be here... this is too late, she is just about to jump.   
Finally Faith turned her head to look at me, her eyes were sad and her mouth was turned down at the edges, pulling her lips tight.   
I demanded, What is going on?   
She shook her head and let go of my shoulder, everything in her looks told me that she was not going to answer. I sighed with despair, that everything I had hoped for had gone wrong. That I would not be able to save Dawn, just get to re live the pain all over again. The hand which Faith had taken off my shoulder, she moved to my back and gave me a little push. I took a step forward, and another, until I was standing right behind myself, almost stepping on my heels. I looked at Faith again and she gave a slight nod. Taking a deep breath I walked forward into myself. Its hard to describe what it felt like, I always think of it like two drops of water pushing together and becoming one. **

**The pause seemed endless as colours, shapes, smells fizzed into view. Everything from that night came back, with shocking familiarity. I never thought that I would remember so well, as I had pushed all images of that night away. The world was frozen for a second longer before popping into action, I quickly grabbed at Dawn's wrist, even if the world was to end, I would not let Dawn kill herself. She struggled against me, her eyes filled with fear and desperation. I can't remember what I we said to each other, words filled with urgency. Until she looked at me, as if she could see right through me, and suddenly it hit me.   
****_Blood...Blood...Summers blood...My gift was death...Blood...My blood._****   
Dawn asked, her voice trembling.   
That's when I said everything, reassured her, told her I loved her. The things I felt, and what she needed to hear from me. As I spoke she shook her head but listened intently, guessing what I was about to do I think. Tears welled up in her eyes and I brushed them away. I was happier than I had ever been, because I had found a way to save the world, and my sister.   
When I had finished talking to her she was still shaking her head, still crying, her hair seemed to have grown limp and coarse in the time I had been talking to her. Finally I leaned forward to kiss her once, hug her a little. Then I let go and turned around. I had worked out that my blood would stop the apocalypse, that Dawn need not be hurt. And I ran. Ran towards the growing ball of light and energy. Strangely enough it seemed to be so slow, yet so quick. My words, what I had just said, were still running around in my head. I became very aware of my own heart beat, thumping rhythmically in my head for the last few seconds of my life. My feet made clanking noises against the metal as I drove them down heavily. The ball of energy looked amusingly like the magic I had imagined the night before... or ahead... whichever. Twisting and curling white light, purple and black pulsing through it every so often, lighting up the sky. My foot caught on the edge of the walkway and I didn't think twice, using it as a spring board to jump as far as possible towards the centre of the shining void. I didn't have time to think as I fell, then I hit it, and everything went black. **

**Dawn walked slowly down the metal steps, the sound of her feet clanking being the only sound she heard. She moved slowly, a little blood still dripping from the two cuts in her stomach. Dreading what she wound find when she reached the bottom of the steps. Everything that Buffy had said, still clear in her mind. Her foot wavered on the last step and she stared at it, unsure what to do, knowing that when she went further down, she would find her life changed forever. Finally the sounds of crying met her ears and she looked up, her eyes widened when she saw Buffy laying there... everyone around her... some crying, some just sitting in silence... and she did nothing, she couldn't. How could she face them when she was the reason Buffy had died? So she just stood in silence, watching and wishing that she had never been born'. **


	7. Epilogue

Untitled Normal Page

A Chance To Change...

Part 7: Epilogue

**I lay on the grass staring up at the clouds in the sunny sky. Each one I knew so well, they were all from my life, when I had played that game of seeing shapes in the clouds. That one over there, Dawn had said it looked like a bunch of grapes, I had said a cat. We had argued about it before mum had brought out some lemonade and told us that it was a house. I picked up a blade of grass and twisted it in my finger tips, listening to it crunch. Ants ran around through the dirt, I watched them for a while before looking back to the sky.   
I heard gentle muffled footsteps moving towards me and sat up, looking around. I was sitting, like I had been for a long while I forget the amount of time, on a patch of fresh green grass. It spreads a little out around me and a patch of light blue sky above that, filled with clouds from my memory. Further away is just a swirling grey mist. Its like sitting in the eye of a tornado I guess.   
Through the mist stepped Faith, she looked just as I remembered her. She walked almost like a vampire, predator, giant cat. Slinking as she did, with her whole body moving perfectly with each step. She stopped a few steps before me and rested one hand on her hip, the other travelling up to toy with a strand of hair. I watched her as she did so, one of my hands started toying with some of my hair as well.   
Time to go back... Faith said softly, smiling, tugging on the strand of hair she was fingering before dropping it.   
I asked dreamily, doing the same with my hair.   
Faith nodded and walked closer to me, holding out a soft pink hand to me,   
I looked at the hand, her finger nails were painted a light rose instead of the usual black. I reached my hand up towards hers, embarrassed at the imprints of grass on my palm, and the faint green tinge. Her hand wrapped around mine, delicate fingers curling either side of my wrist. Then she tugged with strength that I found supprising as I sprung to my feet. I swayed a little before gaining my balance, she slowly pulled her hand away from mine, her fingers brushing my palm and making my shiver.   
How long has it been? I asked, brushing the grass blades and dirt off my legs.   
Quite a while she replied, her hand moving off her hip and crossing her arms in front of her.   
Surely its not time yet... I said quietly, not wanting to believe I had to go.   
She nodded and uncrossed her arms, one hand gesturing to the way she had come through the mist and the other gently touching my arm. Coaxing me forward. I took one tentative step forwards then glanced at her.   
She asked with a little amusement in her voice.   
I frowned and started again, with more resolve towards the wall of mist. Her grip on my arm tightened slighty and I found a little comfort in that. She moved along side me, half a step behind before I stopped. My nose was almost brushing the mist as it swirled by. I glanced back at Faith for a second and she squeezed my arm again. Looking back toward the mist I nodded and stepped through it. It was hardly a magical experience, more like walking through wood smoke. When I walked out the other side I was coughing violently, one hand in front of my mouth as I doubled up, the coughs shaking my body and making my eyes water. Still bending over I turned to look for Faith, she stepped out of the mist at that moment. Faith looked as calm as ever, her eyes were dry and her only sign that the mist had effected her at all was that she was blowing it out of her mouth slowly. Like cigarette smoke. The mist curled up around her face and hair before drifting back to where it had come from. I straitened up, again embarrassed. She gestured for me to look behind me and I turned to examine my new surroundings. There wasn't any, as far as I could see there was nothing. Except for two what could be called doorways. Twisting rectangles of light, one a deep purple, the other shining gold. There were no doors but inside the rectangles the background colour faltered. The background colour, a dazzling white. Almost blinding my senses. It was like I was standing in that ball of energy. Faith draped her arm lightly around my waist and leaned her head on my shoulder, her hair falling down my back and making me shiver again.   
Come on, lets go...   
I asked, for the first time, wondering a second later why I hadn't asked that before.   
She pulled me a little closer, .   
Then she straitened up and let go of me, her hand brushing along my back as she moved it back to her side. I looked from doorway to doorway, wondering where to go, which to choose. Faith nudged me towards the purple one, while she started towards the golden one. I watched her pause before walking through it.   
Come on she said, pointing towards the purple door with one long thin finger. I moved towards it, as I walked closer I heard it humming with power. I stopped. Faith placed a hand on my back and I jumped, supprised that she was able to move with so little noise.   
You're not... You're not coming with me? I asked her gently.   
She shook her head, No, I was never meant to be down there anyway she gestured to the golden door, That's where I belong, I was never meant to leave but... you know... I smiled and nodded,   
Now come on. People are needing another slayer down there... and it ain't me   
I looked at the doorway, faces seemed to flash before my vision, all people that I didn't know. Finally I opened my mouth,   
And I will forget again? What I am... Why I am there...? I asked, remembering all I had learned when I had first come to this place, all the past lives I had had.   
Faith nodded,   
I pulled her into a warm hug, smiling at being able to supprise her this once.   
I'll see you around I said as I pulled away from her, ignoring the slight redness in my cheeks. Looking at her I knew, and she knew that we would never meet again, but she nodded.   
Yeah... see you around... She looked me over one last time, as if committing me to memory before smiling and stepping through the golden door. The rectangle shrunk and then popped, disappearing. I stared at where it had been for a while, ignoring the prickling at the corners of my eyes. At last I turned towards the purple frame and stared into the centre of it. Taking a deep breath I stepped forward... **

**Finis**


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